Try to Wish
by Milieva
Summary: There are some wishes that only fate can grant, not even the strong willed can reverse a destined change. A portal is closed, and hearts are breaking. UmiClef
1. Prologue: Goodbyes

_I wish, my wish  
__When I wish upon a star  
__I wish, my wish  
__My dream comes true_

_-Wish-

* * *

_

**Try to Wish**

**Prologue: Goodbyes**

Umi shrugged Clef's hands from her shoulders. She was trying to pack her small suitcase, and she was not in the mood for his antics, no matter how much she enjoyed them on occasion in private.

"Not now." Playfully she shoved him away again as he began to smooth gentle kisses down her neck.

"But Umi, you are going to be gone for so very long…"

Even without look at him, the water knight could sense the want in his voice. Their romance may have started casually but it was definitely becoming complicated. Both understood that, under Cephirian tradition, they were wed. No matter how they tried to hide this from their friends, it was becoming painfully obvious. Too many nights, Umi had returned late, or not at all, to the room she still shared with Hikaru and Fuu. Hikaru, as always, was completely oblivious to the meanings behind this, but the ever wise Fuu had see through her lies many months before, but continued to keep her mouth shut. There were too many other things that were more important for the wind knight to worry with. She and Ferio were still in the beginning processes of planning the ceremony that they would officially announce their betrothal to peoples of Cephiro. Only the royals had a requirement to announce such things. Still, things were rather messy between Umi and Clef. According to the ancient law under the Pillar, the Madoshi, or supreme Yil, was to remain celibate, but many things had changed since that system dissolved.

"I will only be gone for three days." Umi laughed at Clef's plea for her to stay. She had offered him to go with her, but he had duties to attend to here. Ferio was still being trained in governing etiquette and proper government procedures.

Light footsteps approached the door. Clef promptly ceased his kissing and distanced himself from Umi. The door swayed open and Fuu stepped in. She smiled knowingly at Clef, who was standing a little too casually in the corner. He returned her gaze uncomfortably, but the girl turned to her friend. "Umi-san, Hikaru-san has asked that I remind you to take a picture with you, so you do not forget us." The wind knight handed Umi a small, framed photograph of the entire group.

"I am only going to be gone for three days." Umi repeated.

Fuu smiled. "I know. I am merely humoring Hikaru-san."

Umi laughed at the thought. Hikaru was always worried that something would separate them. She always took great precautions in planning how to stay in touch and not forget one another. With a smile, Umi placed the photograph on top of her clothes and closed the suitcase. She wrapped an arm around Fuu and hugged her.

"I'll find Hikaru and tell her goodbye. Hopefully she won't fret too much while I am away." With that said she picked up the case and walked out of the room. It wasn't too difficult to find the spunky, fire knight. The moment Umi stepped out of the bedroom, she found the girl skipping down the corridor toward her.

"Umi-chan!" Hikaru threw her arms around the water knight's neck. "Don't forget about us!"

Umi pried herself out of the girl's grasp. She still had difficulty believing that someone as small as Hikaru could have such a strong grasp.

"It's only for three days. There is nothing to worry about. How can I forget about you in three whole days? I have known you for five years." She laughed. "Haven't we spent long periods apart before? Come on. Three days."

* * *

The bus ride from her house had been just as uneventful as her trip to visit her family, but this wasn't her home any longer. She longed to be back in Cephiro, back in her own bed. Even more than that, she wanted to be back with her friends. Clef. They were her family. The castle was now her home. 

It still made her feel self conscious to carry the suitcase into Tokyo Tower. A girl carrying a suitcase here was an oddity. Not many people gave her strange look; it was impolite, but she could tell that they also thought it odd. Umi stepped into the lift. The observation deck was beginning to empty out. She made her way over to the usual spot. Her thoughts drifted to Cephiro. She found her point and focused on it.

Nothing happened.

Umi closed her eyes. Her mind drifted to Clef. She could see his smiling face down on her. She could feel the gentle wind of the Cephirian summer. The chorus of birds unlike anything she had ever heard in the nineteen years of her life. She opened her eyes to smudged glass and a wide view of the city. She was still in Japan. She was still on Earth, not in Cephiro. Why wasn't she in Cephiro? What was wrong?

* * *

:Author's Note: 

By Cephirian tradition of marriage, I have pulled the Eldarian tradition of physical union being the true form of marriage. In other words, from the first night they spent together, Umi and Clef were, by the laws of Cephiro, husband and wife. To me it just seems to suit the culture. I will put a much more detailed explanation on my website.

:Side Note:

Hello to all. I know it has been a very long time since I have updated any of my fanfiction. In all truth, I have been quite busy the past few years. As well as having a great deal of writers block. I am planning to at least try to update one fic a month, but I cannot promise anything. If anyone has noticed, this fic is destined to be a re-write of my old, old fic, Seven Year Separation. I would like to thank Playing Scrabble with Orcs for giving credit, even in a minimal way, for this plot idea. She has written a fine version of it, and I hope to continue reading it myself. I would like to also state that even though my first fic was not to the best of my writing ability that it was the first of its story line to be posted on this website. I shall continue to leave it for those to read who would like to see were this story originated. I also plan to rework my other fic, What Have I Done. I shall not be updating the old versions of these fics, for my steam ran out on them. The crossover was too much to keep up with, but I plan to make a small shrine to What Have I Done, and post up all of my scribbled notes, and doodles.

I hope you enjoy the story. Happy Reading.


	2. Chapter One: Solitude

Author's Note: Maybe I will be able to update more often than I said. The story seems to be flowing together rather nicely. I know what happens in the next few chapters up until near the very end.

* * *

_My name ain't Dorothy  
__These ain't ruby shoes  
__Can't click my heels  
__Any time I choose  
__And fly way  
_

_-Jessica Andrews-_

* * *

**Try to Wish**

**Chapter One: Solitude**

Emptiness. The void surrounded him. He had been here for only a short moment, but it felt like an age. The darkness wound in and out of every one of his thoughts. The sound of a door opening echoed all around him. Soft foot steps sounded from behind.

_"May I join you?"_

Clef spun toward the voice. Umi stood be hind him. She was younger and dressed in her junior high uniform. She was not looking at him. He eyes were focused on a point to the side of him.

_"Thank you" _She said as she sat down on an invisible chair. _"Hikaru and Fuu? I think they are sleeping now."_ The water knights sunk farther down in to her chair. _"Clef, I…I…I have wanted to apologize to you for such a long time."_

It was then that he knew. This took place five years ago. The knights had only just been summoned for the second time. It was on that first night that they had returned that she had come to him. That was the night he began to fall in love with her. He reached towards her, taking a hesitant step forward, but his hand only brushed air. She had vanished. He turned almost wildly, frantically searching for some sign of where she was.

_"It is a strange thought you know."_

This time the voice came from right beside him. Clef turned towards the sound. There she was, older this time. She was wearing her high school uniform. What was this? When was this?

_"If it works that way how does anyone else know?" _She was smiling up at him. Amusement was etched across her face. _"Isn't that too private a ceremony to invite people to?"_ She giggled slightly. _"But really, how do you announce it"_

Umi inched toward him on what appeared to be some sort of bench. She ran her fingers through his hair. _"Do you really want to be with me?"_

This was three years ago, no two years ago. It was the afternoon that they first discussed marriage. The day he explained Cephirian custom to her. Almost a year before he first shared his bed with her to become her husband. He wrapped his arms around this Umi. "I want you to be with me always." She faded from his arms. Why was he being tortured like this? Was the purpose? His head fell to his hands. His heart was breaking for what felt like the thousandth time. Why did this have to hurt so badly? Why could she be here?

Gentle hands ran over his shoulders and to the clasps at the back of his robes. His head snapped up to stare into the eyes of a rather disheveled version of the water knight. Her blouse was hanging off of her shoulder and her skirt was no where to be seen. She smiled at him.

_"Will we regret this tomorrow?" _Her eyes sparkled with a look that said she knew she would never regret this. She bent forward to kiss him. Clef's arms snaked around her waist only to find that she no longer had a waist. He was alone again. He dropped to the ground, and pounded the nothingness with his fists.

_"What do you think about children?" _He looked up slowly. This vision wouldn't last any longer than the other ones he told himself. She is gone.

_"I would like children"_

Umi was sitting beside him. She was barely covered by the thin sheet she held up to her chest. Her eyes shone with hope, and love. His heart shattered further in his chest. Why was this being done to him?

_"Hideaki. I like that name. If I were ever to have a little boy I think I would name him Hideaki."_

Clef gazed at her. This conversation had happened only a little over a week before Umi left to visit her family. Why was he seeing this?

_"Because I had a friend named Hideaki when I was younger. I called him Huki. He moved away after elementary school."_

He face glowed more. How long had this conversation been? They had stayed up most of that evening discussing a family.

_"Nao or Emi, I think. I never could come up with a girl's name I really liked." _Her laughter echoed as she began to fade away.

_"Clef…"_

* * *

The Mage turned toward the sound of the voice. "Umi?"

"No."

His eyes fluttered slightly as he opened them. Fuu was standing next to him carrying a small tray with food and what looked to be a tea of some sort.

"Clef-sama, I know she will return."

He glanced down at the ancient scroll he had fallen asleep on. He knew they argued the opposite. In fact the possibility of the portal opening again any time soon was very unlikely. Even Hikaru, the strongest willed in all of Cephiro could not open it again. No matter how many times she had tried. These last few weeks had been hard on everyone.

He graciously took the try from Fuu and set it down to cover the diagram that haunted his mind. She was right. He told himself. Umi will be back. His brain may have thought that, but his heart did not believe it. He wanted more than anything to have her back in his arms right at the moment. The mage let his eyes wander up to meet the wind knight's. He was burdening them with his sulking. Tomorrow, Fuu, and Ferio were to pledge themselves to one another ceremoniously for the peoples of Cephiro, and here she was worrying over a poor broken old man.

"I am sorry." His voice cracked with disuse.

Fuu shook her head. "No, you do not need to be. If I lost … I have no idea what I would do."

Clef nodded in silent understanding. He knew that she knew. He could read it in the knight's eyes. "You are free to leave. You needn't stay here to keep an old man company while his wife is away."

She bowed to him politely before turning to exit. And Clef was left alone with his thoughts once again.

* * *

:Author's Note:

Sorry the chapter is short. I am working over points in the old fic so that they meet up better in this one. I have already started work on the next chapter. It should be posted within the next week or so, but I cannot promise anything. I am liking this new version. It makes more sense I think and I hope that there are less cultural inaccuracies. The whole tasuki watching tv in the morning eating cereal was all too American. Many changes await for those who have read the past one.


	3. Chapter Two: Rescue Me

_Sadly, I've become so small_

_I want to be rescued_

_instead of sighing_

_-Bana-

* * *

_

**Try to Wish**

**Chapter Two: Rescue Me**

Umi fumbled for her alarm clock. She still wasn't used to being at her parent's home, let alone needing an alarm clock. The day could always wait just as long as she felt she needed it to, while she was in Cephiro, not that she really slept in much any way. Dragging herself out of bed, she grudgingly trudged to the washroom. It was going to be yet another long, dreadful day, just as every day for the past month had been. Life without her friends was hard, but life without Clef….that was almost unbearable. She had never realized how much she enjoyed his presence. Waking up so many days alone in her narrow bed was just this close to torture.

She had laid out her blouse and skirt the night before, so it really didn't take too long for her to get ready. By the time she left her house, Umi had half an hour to catch her train. Her mother may have nearly forced her into getting this job, but she wasn't going to make a bad impression by being late her first day. Umi took out her directions again. She glanced at the name of her stop again, trying to memorize it. In an odd way, she felt that she would feel more confident if she could pretend that she knew where she were going, instead of reading it off of the little slip of paper. This was her first real job, and she was nervous as hell. As a Magic Knight, she had had an idea of what to expect and a goal to push for, but now, in her home world, she only had enough drive to get from day to day, hanging onto the hope that the portal might re-open and she could return to her new home, and her friends.

The train ride was quite uneventful and not as long as she had thought, giving her more time to find her work location. The building wasn't too hard to find. The large print of Nagira Law Office on the windows of the white building across the street was a great land mark given that the tiny print on the little English school's door was not too terribly eye catching.

A little bell jangled as Umi entered the building. The receptionist looked up at her. "May I help you?"

"Er…Yes, I am Ryuuzaki Umi. I am supposed to be the new teaching assistant."

The woman led her down a short corridor and knocked on the door at the end. "Sheirubii-san. Your new teaching assistant is here."

Umi didn't know what she had been expecting, but she definitely wasn't expecting a huge, bulky, blonde, American to come out and greet her. The man was two heads taller than she, and nearly twice as thick as a normal Japanese man. He rushed towards her as if he planned to run her down, not greet her, and grasped her hand in a rough gesture that she knew was supposed to be friendly.

"I'm Alexander Shelby. Nice to meet you." His accent was terrible, and he wouldn't let go of her hand. She disliked him already.

"Let me show you around" Still holding her hand, he led her back down the corridor. Yes, this would be a long day.

* * *

Clef sighed and thought long and thought long and hard about laying his head down on the desk and falling asleep. He hadn't had a decent night's sleep since Umi left, and he was dearly missing that as well. He had always been a restless sleeper, but he found that when he shared his bed with the water knight, he could sleep the entire night, instead of his few hours here and there. He put the pen down and leaned back in his chair. He couldn't concentrate. He should have been finished copying this volume, days ago, but his mind would wander to Tokyo, and he would come back to Cephiro, only long enough to scold himself for wandering, complete copying the paragraph he was on and then his thoughts would drift again. He was even beginning to toy with the idea of resigning his post as well as his position in the council.

One month was too soon to be making any rash decision. The portal could re-open at any time and then where would he be. No position or post, would lead to a pretty boring life once his habit could return to normal. But he did hate the fact that he mourned her loss and had no one to really talk to about it, for the only person that truly knew about his and Umi's relationship, was Fuu, and she and Ferio and only just wed a few short weeks ago, and were still completely enamored with one another. He didn't want to cast his self-pitying shadow on that.

Again he picked up the pen and set about copying the next line of the old volume into this new one. Umi once told him, while he had been working on the same sort of project, that in her world no one had had to hand write a book in many years. Everything was printed by machine. Even though he liked the uniform printing of the books she brought with her, he liked the rustic unique quality of the hand written volumes that filled the library of the Cephirian castle. They gave him a greater feeling of history. He could recognize nearly all of the authors by their handwriting. This particular book had been written during the reign of the pillar before Emeraude, and was recorded by Clef's own Master. He could remember how his master would speak out-loud to himself as he wrote. Umi said that he, also, spoke as he wrote, but he never noticed it. She would sit and tease him until he could no longer concentrate, and she would then convince him that some other place needed his attention at that moment.

Turning the page, Clef felt his heart sink even further, if it was possible, for scribbled on the corner was a small caricature of Umi at a blackboard saying '_and there were trees, grass and dirt'_. He had forgotten that she had stolen this book from him and wrote that in jest at the long descriptions of Cephiro under the rule of each pillar. In all truth she was right. Each one did sound the same. For each pillar kept the land close to the same as it had been during the last pillar. There were very few major differences. Only one or two pillars had had very strong imaginations. The floating mountains had been evidence of that. He closed the ancient volume and left his pen atop his copy of it. That was enough for the day. Even if she wasn't there, she still was keeping him from his work.

* * *

Two Junior High School girls waved back at Umi as they hurried to catch up with their friends. She turned back into the class room and stopped dead. The most awful odor she had ever experienced drifted toward her. Alexander Shelby was reclining back at his desk with a bag of shrimp crisps, munching away quite noisily. Umi's stomach turned, but she held it in and picked up her bag.

"Ne, Umi-chan!"

Umi froze. What right did he have to use that name. No one but Hikaru and Clef had ever used that name. Not even her parents. She turned slowly try to keep the contents of her stomach from heaving onto the floor.

"You did well today, and you said this is your first job?"

Umi nodded, her eyes watering.

"Oh, excuse me, where are my manners. Did you want a chip?" He made a large gesture with the sack, which waved the smell towards Umi.

Her hand shot up to her mouth and she flew out of the door and down the corridor. Nearly slamming herself into the door, she hardly looked at the sign to be sure it was the ladies' room. Collapsing in front of the nearest toilet, she retched the full contents of her lunch back out of her stomach. And she actually did like shrimp crisps. What the hell was the problem? "Oh Shit" She sank down before the porcelain-god, tears running down her face. This day just couldn't get any worse, could it?

"Ryuuzaki-san?"

Umi looked up at a very nervous looking receptionist. She cursed herself for not closing the stall door. Wiping her eyes, Umi stood and walked to the tap and washed her hands as if nothing were the matter.

"Ryuuzaki-san, Sheirubii-san asked me to check in on you." She stood uneasy by the open door to the corridor. "What shall I tell him?"

"I'm fine."

"Right, Ryuuzaki-san"

Once she was alone again, Umi splashed her face with water, and studied her face in the mirror. What a brilliant impression she must have made today. She sighed and ran her fingers through her hair. Taking a deep breath, she steeled herself to go back. Her bag was still sitting beside the door of the classroom. Damn, this was going to be awkward. Composing herself completely, Umi stepped out into the corridor and made her way back to the back of the building. The door was partially closed when she approached. She heard two male voices talking as she pushed the door open.

"…ran out… Oh! You're back."

The other man turned to see who Shelby was greeting. He was shorter, thinner, and slightly better looking than Shelby. He bowed politely to her. "I'm Richard Jarndyce. Nice to meet you."

Umi was surprised by his accent and manner, but instinct made her bow back. "Ryuuzaki Umi. Nice to meet you. Forgive me, but I must be leaving." She reached for her bag and again turned to leave.

"Ne, Umi-chan!"

This time she only glanced back at him.

"Are you alright?"

"Yes, thank you."

"See ya tomorrow?"

"Yes."

As she was closing the door, she heard Jarndyce scolding Shelby about calling her Umi-chan, and smiled a bit to herself. Maybe this job wouldn't be so bad.

It was pouring rain when Umi got off at her stop and began the walk home. To complement the day she was having so far, she had forgotten her umbrella. She jogged down the sidewalk with her bag over her head. She paused in front of a convenience store halfway to her parents' house. Did she really want to do this today? It would only make it end worse. She didn't kick the thought around long. Within moments, she was in the door and scouting the isles for what she needed. It would be better to know now, or in the morning when she would take the test. This had really turned into the family visit from hell.

* * *

Umi's body went cold as she stared at the little white stick in her hand. She knew it yesterday at the school, but she didn't want to believe. She wanted to scream, or throw something. It wasn't supposed to be this way. She was supposed to be with Clef. Tell him the news then they would have to come out about their relationship. The council wouldn't be happy at first, but they had no say in the Supreme Yil's personal life any longer. Letting out a moaning sob from the deepest core of her soul, Umi sank in the corner beside the toilet. This just couldn't be true.

Mrs. Ryuuzaki walked across the landing. She wanted to check on Umi. A mother knows when something I wrong. Umi hadn't been herself since yesterday, even if the self was a terribly depressed version of the girl that arrived for a visit four weeks ago. She had convinced her daughter to get a part-time job to get her mind off of things, but now it seems that plan may have back fired. She was almost to Umi's bedroom, when she heard the heart tearing sob from the washroom.

"Umi?" Mrs. Ryuuzaki opened the door to find her daughter curled into a fetal position, tear streaming down her face. "Umi..."

"Mama…"

Mrs. Ryuuzaki pulled her daughter into a tight embrace. "Don't worry. You will see them again."

"No….That's not it" Umi hiccupped, almost unintelligibly.

Her gaze falling to the dejected piece of plastic lying at Umi's feet, Mrs. Ryuuzaki pulled her closer. "They're not always right."

"I'm almost two months late."

"And you didn't tell him?"

"I didn't think it was a good time. There were the official law changes to make our marriage legal. And there was all of the planning and things involved with Fuu and Ferio's wedding ceremony. I just hoped it was nothing like that. I mean, it had happened before, a month or so before I graduated from high school."

Mother stroked Umi's head. She had worried about this. She understood the pressures the relationship had had since the beginning. Umi had brought home a book out-lining the basic laws of Cephiro. The Supreme Yil, or Master Mage, was not to take a bride while in service to the pillar. Officially Clef was still in service to the crown, but with no pillar, the laws could be adjusted. But the marriage was still technically illegal throughout most of the first year. Mrs. Ryuuzaki had been concerned when her daughter informed her of this. She did like the man her daughter had chosen, but to wed illegally… That was not one of Umi's better ideas.

"We need to have a talk."

"Mama, I promise, Clef and I weren't _that_ involved until the last few months of high school."

"Not about that."

"I am supposed to work today. I need to be leaving."

"You have had a _family emergency_ and you simply cannot make it. They should understand. I can even call for you, if you like."

To be continued….

* * *

**Author's Note:**

Sorry to leave it there, but I do promise to finish this fic. I swear I will try, but I regret to say that I shall be putting it on hold for a month or so. I would like to finish _Wish I Had An Angel_ first. I have foolishly entered 30Lemons over at Live Journal and need to be working on that before my deadline is up. I also have an Inuyasha story that I would like to get nearer to finish.

Also, I didn't fully edit this, so please don't judge any typos too harshly. I did use grammar/spell check, but that only works so well.

I will try not to leave this story for as long as I did last time. I believe my last update on this was in April of last year. I will try to only let it go two months at most, maybe less time. Thank you all for reading it. And Rea-chan, I said I would aim for posting it tonight.


	4. Chapter Three: Broken

_i keep your photograph i know it serves me well…_

_'cause i'm broken when i'm lonesome  
and i don't feel light when you're gone away_

_--Seether

* * *

_

**Try to Wish**

**Chapter Three : Broken**

The mage must have been a strange sight, standing in a corridor far from his own bedroom, wearing nothing but his nightshirt and dressing gown. His hand lightly on the latch of a door he vaguely remembered enchanting to recognize him for late night visits to this room. The door gave way under the lightest of touches, opening silently into the room. The gentle scent of fabric soap drifted toward him as he stepped into the room. Moonlight shifted through the window and fell across the small photograph collection on the bedside table.

Clef picked up the nearest gilt frame and sank back onto the mattress. The photo Umi was shooting death glare at the photo him over the open book she was holding, all the while the photo him seemed to be fighting back laughter. Everyone else just stood looking completely confused. He never realized that she had kept this photograph. Then again it was taken only shortly before Umi had taken up almost permanent residence in his quarters. Thankfully Hikaru had wanted the water knight to open her gift next so the questions never came, and they were save in there secret life for the time being. It had been a rather innocent gift originally. The mage had come up with the idea around the time the magic knights had just begun to visit at regular intervals. He would gather the simple customs of Cephiro and Umi's favorite faerie stories and compile them into a book for her. The project was more time consuming than he originally thought. The requests of Japanese and Kanji dictionaries had made the water knight curious but by some odd stroke of luck it did not intrigue her enough to pursue it or else she would have know his task before he had accomplished it. As the mage was no match for the way those eyes could look at him.

He was nearly finished with the project by the time he and Umi had become more intimately involved. Its completion coincided quite closely with the first of two pregnancy scares. Thus is why he had asininely inscribed on the inside cover.

_To My Son, Huki_

_With Love from Your Father_

_Doushi Clef_

He had never meant to leave it in there. But then he thought he might do it just to get a rise out of his lover as she seemed to enjoy doing that quite frequently herself. For some insane reason he thought she looked even more beautiful when she wanted to beat him to a pulp. And to give her a book with that inscription for her birthday definitely got him one of those "classic" looks.

Clef set the photograph back exactly where it had been even making a few final adjustments until he was sure it was back where it had been. If he was bad about people touching his things, he knew Umi was definitely worse. He sank back into the mattress, gathering the pillow into his arms. It was most likely a figment of his imagination, but underneath the soft smell of the fabric soap he could barely make out Umi's scent. Her "shampoo" had always enamored him with its fragrance. The past few weeks had seen his own muddled scent of books and herbs mask the soft flowery perfume that had once invaded his bed. He never thought he would miss something so much as he did one simple smell.

Hugging the pillow to his chest, Clef collapsed onto the bed, breathing in the memory. It had been so long since he had slept in this room. The water knight had only occupied it until her completion of "high school". And from then on, she had only kept the rooms more fore show than anything else. Taking in a long breath, he slowly drifted off into a troubled sleep.

The mattress shifting roused the mage from his slumber. Umi smiled down at him through a curtain of hair as she reached across him for her cell phone lying on the bedside table. She picked it up only long enough to look at the time and then settled back against her bedmate, resting her cheek on his bared chest. Clef pulled her closer and gently stroked her arm as they lay together in this rare silence. He felt her sigh deeply under his touch.

"What's wrong?"

The water knight mumbled something to the negative. Clef knew it was better not to push her, she would tell him in her own time. Pushing for an answer was just asking for a fight.

"Clef?"

"Hmm?"

"Would you really want children?"

His hand froze mid-stroke. This was out of character for her. If one actually believed the stories the water knight told him, which he didn't not even for a moment, one would have thought that it was impossible for her to even become pregnant without wanting the child first. But the mage knew it was only a matter of time, but had that time come so quickly? He hesitantly rubbed her shoulder.

"I don't know." The word has slipped out of his mouth before he thought about them. His lover tensed underneath his touch. Damn. That time had come, and much sooner than he thought. "What I mean is, it has been so long since I last cared for an infant."

Umi cringed away from him more. It still hurt her to hear about the princess, even so indirectly. For she knew the stories by heart even though she had only heard them a handful of times, thus she knew exactly who he was referring to. But she relaxed slowly as Clef pulled her tightly to him, kissing her lightly on the forehead. She settled back into his arms and traced small circles on his chest. "I'm late." She whispered so quietly that Clef could barely say he heard it. The mage rubbed her back in a reassuring fashion as he whispered into her hair telling her that everything would be alright.

"But what about the council? The laws say…"

"One thing at a time." He pulled her closer to him, and both settle back into the soft blankets of her bed.

Umi slowly drifted back to sleep only to be rudely awaked by the chiming of her cell phone's alarm. Groggy, she fumbled on her table to find the cursed thing, and switched it off, flopping back into her pillows. Wait pillows? She reached out her right hand and only felt the end of the mattress. She reached out with her left hand. Same thing. Come to think of it, the light was coming from the wrong direction. Her eyes shot open. This was not the castle of Cephiro. This was her bedroom in her parents' house. Why did these dreams have to feel so real that she was so disoriented by them? Her hand drifted down the distended line of her belly. Why couldn't other things be the dreams? Why did she have to dream about a time when her only worry was finishing high school? When getting pregnant was not too terrible an idea with graduation so close on the horizon. Only she and Clef knew about that particular conversation, just as she and he were the only ones who knew about the subsequent miscarriage. The knight couldn't even bring herself to tell her mother. But then again, this was before they truly even knew about Clef.

Climbing out of bed, she pulled off her night gown and began the arduous process of getting dressed. It was almost impossible to find anything in her wardrobe that did not accentuate the growing line of her stomach. Finally she settled on a simple skirt and blouse set. Pulling her hair up into a knot, she stopped to look at herself in the mirror. How much she wished her lover could see her like this. There was no way he could seriously quip his "undeveloped" line at her. The way her body had readjusted itself around this life in her womb, would have merely wrapped him all the tighter around her finger. Even the dense Mr. Shelby, did notice this one change in his assistant. She was not blind to the looks he gave her when he thought he mind was somewhere else. At the very least, he had stopped with the "Umi-chan" bit. This was most likely thanks to Mr. Jarndyce.

Grabbing the papers from her desk, Umi shoved them into her bag as she rushed downstairs. Waving to her mother, she slipped on her shoes before flying out the door. She had spent too much time in front of her mirror. And if she didn't quicken her pace, she would miss her train, and be late for the first time. This was one of the things she missed about Cephiro. Everything was on a rather lax schedule. And she could sleep in without worry that anything would happen aside from Clef's lectures of time management, but then again, he was pretty bad about waking up recently as well. Shortly before her departure from Cephiro, it was more common for her to wake up to him dozing lightly beside her than to wake to a recently vacated bed. She forced the thoughts out of her head as she hurried into the train station, only to watch the back end of the train she needed disappear. This was just going to be one of those days wasn't it?

* * *

Clef groaned as the voices in the corridor woke him. That was the one problem with a sound charm. It only worked one way. His chambers were quiet either way, because of their location, but Umi's were right off of the Knights' common room, which always had frequent visitors. And it was Caldina's laughter that had disturbed him this morning. That was one of the main reasons he didn't venture down to these rooms as often as he once had. And with Umi taking up residence in his rooms, there was no need to. Although when he had spent nights here and was so rudely awakened in the morning, the water knight would just laugh at his frustration and remind him that it was not the best idea to inform them of his feelings given that he should not even have been in her room over-night, but who cared any more. He climbed out of the bed, and staggered over to the door. He had no idea what he would say to them, but he wanted nothing more than to sleep, and they were keeping him from it. 

He may have opened the door with a bit more force than he meant to, given that it crashed against the wall a little harder than he had intended. Caldina, Presea, and the two other knights looked up at him in surprise. He grumbled incoherently at them before fuming back into the room and throwing himself at the bed. With a few muffled whispers, the girls vacated the common room and disappeared back down the hall way. It wouldn't be until later that he would get hell for his actions as well as a number of pointed questions from those who had no idea of how involved his and Umi's relationship was.

* * *

Umi adjusted her shopping bag over her shoulder as she stopped to look at the most recent issue of her favorite fashion magazine. She was still angry with herself for being late to work this morning, but everything was alright other wise. Tonight she was supposed to make dinner for her family. It would be her first time to man the kitchen on her own. Truthfully, if this separation from Cephiro had never happened, she would never have even attempted to cook an actual meal. Sweets had always been her specialty, but if she was going to be running a house hold—for she planned to move out of her parents house, when she could, after the baby was born, much to their great disappointment, and disapproval—she would need to know how to cook a few meals. One could not live on cakes alone, not to mention her distain for sweets. 

She flipped through the magazine. One of her favorite artists was releasing a new CD, but she didn't have the money to spare on it. All of her funds were going toward her savings for an apartment of her own. With all of the fees involved, she wasn't sure how long it would take to save up that amount. But as she had agreed to stay at her parents until the baby slept through the night, she had a good portion of a year to save.

"Umi-san?"

The water knight's head shot up. That was a voice she hadn't heard in a while. Her heart lifted for a moment, as she turned to look at the elder sister of her best friend. "Kuu?"

The blond girl smiled. It had been forever since they had seen one another. The last time was shortly before the girls moved to Cephiro. More than a year had past since then. Her heart sank as she realized what she would eventually have to tell her. That she may never see her sister again.

"How are you, Umi-san?"

Umi put the magazine back on the news stand, and shifted her bag again. She wasn't quite sure what to say. How was she? As alright as girl who was pregnant and forcibly separated from her lover could be. "I'm fine. And yourself?"

"Oh I'm quite well. But you know what 'fine' means, Umi-san." She winked at her friend.

Umi laughed in spite of herself. "I know. Why don't we go somewhere to talk? There is a nice café up the road a bit."

After the knight had finished her recap of the past few months, Kuu sank back into her seat. "You mean you are stuck here?"

Umi nodded, and sipped at her coffee. It was still too hot to drink, why didn't she get a nice cool drink like her friend?

"And they are there. And you're… That is terrible." She reached across the table and took Umi's hand. "If you ever need anyone to talk to…"

The water knight smiled, as whole heartily as she could, but she didn't feel it. She had never realized that Kuu would bee more upset over her predicament than she was over her separation from her sister. This mad Umi feel even worse. Why did fate have to play with her life like this? What had she ever done?

She and Kuu didn't talk nearly as long as she would have liked, for she had to be finishing her errands and getting home to cook dinner. While the blond needed to be at the library studying for her approaching university exams. But she was happy to have seen her. It had never occurred to her that she still had her small network of friends here on earth. All she could think about was her home in Cephiro. None of her thoughts had ever ventured to the people she has known only in her time spent on earth. Maybe now was a good time to begin rebuilding those friendships. It wasn't like she planned to go anywhere for a while. The gentle flutter in her belly brought her back from her thoughts. She smiled with an unfounded hope.

"Don't worry. Someday, we will see your father again."

* * *

"_We will see your father again…"_

Clef's eyes shot open. He looked frantically around the vacant room. The was Umi's voice. He knew it in his very soul. What was she talking about. Who would see whose father again? His heart pounding in his chest, he lay back into the pillows. It must have just been a dream. He had been seeing her so much in his sleep, that he must be slowly forgetting his reality. Tomorrow, he would force himself back into his old schedule. The way he lived before The water knight had become such a fixture of his life. And maybe life would begin to get back to normal.

To be continued…..

**Author's note: **Sorry the chapters stay so damn short. They just naturally end at these points. I know this did not answer some of the questions raised but the last chapter, but I will tell you… Yes, Umi's parents knew about her and Clef. I might get more into that in later chapters. The fine comment of Kuu's is from something my gran always says to me. Fine Fucked up, irritable, nerotic, and emotional.

If you all want more info about anything that I have posted here, or any other comments that you don't wish to post in a review, please feel free to e-mail me or contact me via AIM, MorgannaProject. And if you wish to just hang out with other rayearth fans, feel free to join us in Cephiro at cephiro (dot) psynos (dot) net .

Reviews Love thank you .


	5. Chapter Four: Pick Me Up

_And miles from where you are_

_I lay myself down on the cold ground and I_

_Pray that something picks me up_

_And sets me down in your warm arms_

_-Snow Patrol

* * *

_

**Try to Wish**

**Chapter Four : Pick Me Up**

Clef groaned and sank back into his pillows. He missed the amount of sleep he was now used to. But returning to his old routine meant returning to his old habits. Four hours of sleep was one of those things. If only he had never learned what he was missing. Lethargically, he climbed out of bed and donned his robes. There was a mountain of paperwork on his desk that had been neglected. Nothing too terribly pressing, thus the lack of will power to complete it, especially baring current lack of previous distractions. There were rules for his post for a reason. Now he understood their purpose, though he did not care about them. Having her here was distracting enough, but with her absence his drive had left him and he was nothing more than a hollow shell. The mage glanced at him briefly in the mirror. He looked terribly. Some representative. Maybe it would be better if he resigned his post. Not that a new mage could be chosen within this century.

It took the better part of his strength to not look as absent as he felt. Ambassadors of any sort always bored him, but any one from the Trade Council could lull him to sleep on a good day with simple talk of current market trends. Today was definitely not a good day. Thus he was afraid he may have made a reasonably bad impression on the man. Maybe a nap would do him some good.

The mage sank into the hot steaming waters. A nap in the bath house would do him a world of good, if he could manage not to drown himself. The heavenly liquid soothed his aching joints. He was too old for romance and the pining that went with it. Maybe he should have thought of that before getting involved with the water knight. Though she was also wonderful at helping him relieve tension. Some times he thought her baiting his temper on purpose to relieve his aggression at the same time igniting his animalistic passion. Ambassadorial meetings were far more enjoyable when he had an evening with her to look forward to. Now they were far more torturous than before…before her. He let his thoughts drift to the more pleasant moments of recent life, as he drifted into a light dreamless sleep.

It was the soft nudge at his shoulder that roused the mage from his slumber. He blinked and stared blurrily at the shadow above him, it was fringed with green.

"Ferio?"

"I never thought you were much of a napper, Old Man."

"I fear in such close proximity, your bad habits are rubbing off on me."

Ferio laughed and slipped into the water himself. "Don't go blaming me for your habits."

Clef groaned and sank back. "You needn't worry. I am perfectly capable of destroying my own life."

The prince raised an eyebrow, but didn't say anything. If he had guessed right at his new wife's inferences, he had landed himself on a sticky topic if he took this too far. Best not say anything else. He soaked his rag and laid it on his forehead. A nap didn't sound half bad.

* * *

Umi held the phone as far from her ear as humanly possible. If it had been Hikaru on the other side, that distance would have done little to soften the screech, but it was Rika, so the distance helped a great deal. After the past few moths of her being home and working, it had finally gotten around to her old school mate and former fencing team member that she was indeed home with her parents. Within the last hour, the water knight had learned that her friend was now a fencing coach at their old junior high school and engaged to be married. She was wanted the former fencing champion to come up and give her students a few pointers, it was then that Umi stated how much she would love to, but she was too pregnant to do much of anything in comfort, at which point her friend screeched in shock.

The water knight quickly regretted her comment, as she was then bombarded by questions she didn't want to, or know, how to answer. The most her friend got out of her was that yes she was married and no her husband was not in Tokyo, or even Japan. It took some careful prodding, but Umi finally got the conversation to focus on Rika's fiancée. Turns out he is also a teacher at the same school. One of those few rare male instructors at the all girls academy. The friends continued to exchange cheerful banter until Umi heard the knock on the front door a second time and remembered that she was home alone. Telling her friend goodbye, she hung up the phone, clamored off of her bed, and begrudgingly descended the stairs.

Why she had insisted on spending the afternoon upstairs was beyond her. It was too much work to ascend and descend so many times in the past hour. Attempting to catch her breath again, she opened the door to a familiar smiling face.

"So how is my baby doing?" Kuu laughed as she stepped into the entry and rubbed Umi's belly.

"He's very active. More so lately."

The water knight settled into a chair as Kuu proudly displayed the plastic sack she was carrying. "Takoyaki, for my little boy!"

Umi smiled, but it didn't reach her eyes. What would she do if she didn't have her family or friends right now? She really appreciated them so much more right now. Their love and kindness was a distraction from all the worry and sorrow.

The warm, delicious smell enveloped them. Umi opened the lid and took a deep breath. Everything from the last nine months washed away. In her mind she was standing in line with Clef prodding him to smile. This was the best stand in the city and they had been waiting for nearly half an hour. Finally they were next. Trading her few yen for a box, the two of them headed back down the street to a nearby park. Taking a seat on the bench she was opening the box and taking a deep breath. Clef was beside her smiling at the pleasure in her expression.

"So, what are you thinking about, Miss Umi?"

The water knight took a bit of the little octopus ball, and sat thoughtfully. "Clef…"

"You will see him again."

"How can I be sure?"

"You can't. But you can hope." Her face changed momentarily, so subtly that Umi wasn't sure it did. Her smile faltered to somber and back to a smile again. "I doubt fate would be so cruel."

The two women sat in silence for a time after that. Neither looking at the other. Umi drifted back into her memories. Trying so hard not to cry. Kuu's voice startled her.

"I've been accepted to a University in Kyoto."

Umi's head shot up. "You what?"

"I can continue my studies there. I'll be leaving when the new term starts."

She couldn't be losing the girl who had been her strongest support outside of her parents. Things were just going from bad to worse. What more could happen?

"Father is buying me a small condo. I asked him if he would mind if I asked some one to live with me." She watched Umi, hoping she would say something. "I want you to come with me. After the baby is born and all, but I think it would do you some good. There are too many memories here for you. One day the portal will open again, but you cannot put life on hold for it."

"You want me to come with you?"

"Well, later of course. I don't need to be up at all hours during my studies, but maybe after he sleeps a bit longer at night. What do you think?"

"I would love to."

"Good. Then it is settle. The three of us shall be flat mates in Kyoto."

Umi sighed and settled back into her chair, she shifted a little. Nothing was comfortable any longer.

"We can always visit the tower from time to time. I mean, we don't want to miss an opportunity for this child to see his daddy."

The blue haired girl smiled.

* * *

Clef took the volume being handed to him and set it on the shelf with the books it belonged with. It was the time of year to organize the library, and he had been at it for the past three hours. The mage always found it relaxing, and as he couldn't concentrate on his other tasks, at least something productive was being done today.

"Doushi?"

The mage looked down at Ascot. He only just now wondered at the palu's reason for volunteering to help him with this.

The boy had a bright flush across his cheeks when he held up a well worn copy of _Pleasure Positions_. "Where does….this belong?

A genuine smile crossed Clef's face. "I don't think Umi can put a book away to save her life." He muttered lightly to himself.

Ascot's head jerked up at the sound of the water knight's name. "What would…"

"I don't think it is anyone's business what some one else does with this particular book." The mage lifted the heavy thing out of the dumbfounded palu's hands and slipped it back where it belonged, with no thought. "Especially when those thoughts regard Umi and her uses of that amusing piece of text."

The palu fingered the bindings of the nearest books, looking thoughtful.

"Doushi?"

"Yes?"

"Do you think she will be back?"

"I don't know."

"I want her to come back."

"You have no idea how much I agree with that statement." Clef carried another volume back up to his earlier perch.

"_We don't want to miss an opportunity for this child to see his daddy."_

Clef nearly fell from the ladder as he spun to find the speaker. The voice was so familiar. He could swear that he had heard it before. It was like Fuu's but not quite. She had a sister, Fuu did. He had met her once. Kuu? Was that her name?

"Doushi? Are you alright?"

Breathing hard in confusion at the disembodied voices statement, Clef glanced down as his pupil. "I'm alright… Did you hear that, just a moment ago?"

"Hear what?"

"Nothing…" He must really be losing it. This random voice thing was happening more and more often now. And what he heard was baffling him all the more. Always about children now. Or one child rather. A boy. Who may never know a father. What did it mean?

"Do you think Umi will find someone in her world?"

"What?"

"I was thinking. What if Umi finds someone in her world to love, and the portal opens, but she doesn't want to come back."

"She wouldn't do that."

Ascot looked questioningly up at his master. "Do you think she already loves someone here?"

The sadness in the boy's eyes tore at Clef's concience. No one knew. Least of all this boy who had pined for his knight from day one. "I believe she must. Or there would be no reason for her to stay here permanently."

"I wonder…"

"She is a hard one to understand. No matter how well you get to know her."

Ascot nodded and returned to sorting the pile of volumes on top of the desk he didn't know the history of.

* * *

After dinner, Umi helped gather the dishes and set to work washing them. She was becoming increasingly bored from staying home all day with nothing to do.

"Umi, you need to go sit back down." He mother scolded.

"But, Mama."

Mrs. Ryuuzaki empathized with her daughter. She still remembered what it had been like when she had Umi. She had been ill through out her last months. Unable to get out of bed. At least her daughter could traverse the house, but her doctor would prefer she not work.

She didn't like how long Umi was on her feet, but she wouldn't force her to do something that gave her any measure of peace. Picking up a towel, Mrs. Ryuuzaki began to dry the clean plates Umi was setting on the dish board. It would ease her mind to have her daughter resting her swollen feet, at the very least.

To be continued….

* * *

Author's Note: You have no idea how sorry I am that in the months it has taken me since my last update, I only have a little shy of six pages. But I don't have much else that I can offer you for the length of time it took me to procure this bit. But my writers block may be gone for a time and I will try to update sooner than seven months… I am aware that the last chapter was posted in April, but I will try to get a bit of something else out soon enough. 


	6. Chapter Five : Waiting in the Dark

_I'm waiting in the dark_

_I thought you'd be here by now…_

_Isn't anyone trying to find me?_

_Won't someone come take me home_

_--Avril Lavigne

* * *

_

**Try to Wish**

**Chapter Five : Waiting in the Dark**

Umi sat delicately on the countertop. Clef's, much too big for her, night shirt falling off of her shoulders. She watched in amusement as the mage moved around the kitchen his trousers hanging loosely off his hips. The way he knew his way around the kitchen always fascinated her. With all of the cooks in the castle, it was a bit surprising that he would gain such knowledge. Umi smiled as Clef deposited his collection beside her.

"And if someone were to walk in at this moment…?"

The mage took in the view in question. The pan over the stoves flame, the food on the counter and the two people very scantily clad alone.

"They'll think just was it is. Two people famished from over exertion." Clef hid his mischievous smile as he ducked Umi's swatting hand.

Taking up the knife, the mage began to slice the vegetables. Umi watched him in silence. Like everything else he did, this too was done to perfection. Each piece cut in the same exact size. Once when she had teased him about this attention to detail, he commented that perfection comes of ample practice and when one lives so long, there is plenty of time for practice.

"At least you cook better than I do."

Both laughed remembering the botched meal in question. Sweets had always been her strong suit, anything out side of that was nearly beyond her.

Clef had combined the vegetables in the pan with a little oil and a cooked grain of sorts, something that reminded Umi a bit of rice. The warm smell enveloped them. They relaxed in the silence until it was broken by a mewling sound. Much like, but louder than a baby kitten.

Umi looked up at Clef's questioning face.

"I need to get the baby."

She slipped off the counter, rolled over and woke up.

The water knight groggily crawled out of bed and gathered her baby from his basinet. With out even looking at the clock, she knew it was close to three in the morning. Robotically she nursed, changed, and finished nursing him. Once Hideki was quietly back in his basket, Umi curled back up in her own bed, shoving the cat off her pillow, and fell back to sleep. Not waking up until her son called for attention again shortly before dawn.

Later in the morning when she was certain Hideaki was settled, Umi carried him on her arduous trek downstairs. Warm breakfast smells meeting the two on the first landing.

Mrs. Ryuuzaki hovered over her daughter and new grandson. Her worry was warranted. When Umi wasn't beside herself from exhaustion, she was wallowing in the sorrow of separation from her friends and lover. There was no way she could understand what the girl was going through, but she wanted to be there when it all came crashing down again. As it likely would. Already three times, the girl had broken down into a huddled, sobbing mass.

Umi was only just finished with her breakfast when her mother ushered her back to her bed. Where she would spend the next few hours in a deep dreamless sleep.

* * *

Clef woke with a start. There was some one outside talking excessively loud for this end of the corridor. He muttered something about faulty sound charms and he climbed to his feet to disperse who ever that was making the noise. The only problem was, this wasn't his chambers. Blinking again he realized it wasn't Umi's either. He shut his eyes and tried to recall what had transpired the night before, praying to every god he knew that he hadn't done anything irreversibly stupid. His head was muddled and achy. Mentally he thanked who ever had had the forethought to close the window coverings. After a few moments recollection, he vaguely recalled what had happened the night previous night. Seeing Ascot sprawled over a cushioned chair on the other side of the room confirmed his cloudy memories. 

Feeling exceedingly sorry for himself, he had taken a rather large bottle of wine into the library. The last thing he remembered after that was Ascot joining him. The two of them drowned them selves in alcohol. He hazily recalled toasting to a "woman as untamable as the sea". Heaven only knew what all he had said. The mage dreaded to think what the palu might remember when he regained consciousness.

Lifting the nearest bottle to his nose, Clef grimaced. Murym. He never drank that when he was sober. In his opinion it was altogether the vilest drink ever concocted in Cephiro. As quietly as he could, the mage gathered the emptied bottles, and set to right the stains a few had left behind. The room took on a scent of warm murym and magic. He cast a temporary sound charm on the room as he left.

Taking the dimmest corridors, Clef made it back to his chambers with little difficulty. Pulling the appropriate herbs from his personal shelf, he set to making a potion that would revive his senses enough to stand before the council this afternoon. Last night was the epitome of his stupidity. Drinking oneself into a stupor the night before pleading the most important case of you life, was one of the most foolish things one could do,

At least there wasn't something in the laws regarding council members idiotically imbibing excessive amounts of alcohol.

After making himself presentable and weakening the pounding of his head to a point conducive to coherent thought, the mage set off in the direction of the kitchens. He was not going to face that room of old fools on an empty stomach. It would take all the strength he could get.

* * *

Umi leaned back against the headboard. Her baby asleep beside her on the bed. She thumbed through the book Clef had made for her birthday two years ago. It had been lying in the back of her closet; she found it just shortly before Huki was born. It had never occurred to her that she had left it behind when she moved to Cephiro permanently. Clef had spent such a long time on it, she felt guilty for leaving it. The front section was an assortment of the mage's favorite faerie stories from Cephiro and the surrounding countries. Absently she flipped through to the laws and customs section. A small paper fluttered into her lap. 

A single tear found its way down Umi's cheek as she picked up the photograph from the blankets. Hikaru had taken it candidly. The images showed the water knight and her lover laughing with one another.

Propping the photo next to one of all her friends in Cephiro, Umi set the closed book on her nightstand. She would need to buy a new frame for the photo. Maybe tomorrow, if her mother would release her from house arrest. Reclining on her side, she lovingly stroked the lavender fluff on her son's head. She traced his tiny features with a delicate touch. Even with such a small scrunched face, she could not deny the strong resemblance to his father. With a smile she thought, 'Just what the world needs. Two Clefs.'

* * *

Ascot groaned and rolled over landing on the floor with a hard thump. That just made it all worse. His body protested at having been left to sleep in an unnatural position. He looked around a bit. This was not a room he normally used, but was it his idea to come in here, or Clef's? He moaned as he climbed to his feet. His head was more muddled from exhaustion than from drink. It had been a long night, but he had gained some interesting, if only depressing, knowledge during the course of the evening. 

Clef was very intoxicated when the palu found him in the corridor outside of the library. Ascot couldn't be sure how long he had been out there and who had witnessed his master's ramblings. The mage was loud and quite verbose when drunk. He wouldn't shut up about his dreams. It was unseemly for him to be out in the corridors. Out of respect for his master, Ascot opened the nearest door and talked the mage into joining him in the room. He had to come up with more bottles of alcohol to get the man to stay put.

As he imbibed more murym, the mage continued to ramble about his dreams. Umi was in them. She kept saying things that she had said to him in real life. And then there were dreams where she just spoke to him of the future. Other times he would hear her voice and it was driving him crazy. He kept claiming something about a child. And just before he passed out he said that she must have been pregnant, that was the only explanation.

But who? Ascot couldn't think that it was Umi, because it didn't make sense. How was she pregnant? She had never…

Ascot shook his head. The obvious was staring him in the face, but what reason was there to believe it? Umi was gone and who knew when she would be back. Who knows where that damn mage wandered off to. He was a lot of trouble lately.

Rounding the corner the palu walked headlong on into a very familiar face.

"Oi! Watch it!" Caldina yipped as Ascot tread on her foot.

"Oh, sorry."

"Where are you off to? Speeding around corners like that?" The dancer yanked off Ascot's hat and ruffled his hair.

"Nowhere in particular." He replied monotonously, his mind was still hard at work decoding the ramblings of a drunk.

"Hey, something bothering you?"

"Do you know where Mage Clef is?"

"The Council. Today's that hearing of his, remember?"

"Hearing?"

"The first round of argument for the old laws to be changed."

"Which laws?"

"The ones regarding his post, and what is not allowed to him."

"Love?"

"The pillar is the only one not allowed to love. No it is more intimate for him. The inner circle of the pillar's court may not engage in a romantic relationship, no matter what their hearts may say."

Pieces slowly clicked into place. "He is fighting to wed?"

"To _legally_ wed." Caldina turned back down the direction she was going. "You know, of all the ones to break that law, we never thought it would be him." She smiled at her friend as she walked away.

Ascot jogged to catch back up with her. "We?"

The dancer threw open the door at the end of the corridor. "We."

Once his eyes adjusted to the light, Ascot could make out a small sitting room similar to the one he had just left. Ferio, Presea, Fuu, and Hikaru were engaged in a card game. The small group looked up at the intruders.

"What the…."

"Support."

"Support?"

"Yes. Clef is about to go through an ordeal that will not have a pretty ending this go round."

"I think he will do well." Presea shot over her hand.

Ferio laid two cards down and picked up another. "He is the oldest speaker in the upper council. He should present it well enough, but whether or not the council will agree to set up the committee this time, I can't say. Aiyas will have some serious issues with the idea, and Vespasian…he is ruthlessly committed to upholding the _ancient_ laws. The others are a little more open to change, but not so much."

Ascot was dumbfounded. Did everyone know what was going on besides him? Or had he been too wrapped up in himself to notice?

"And what about Ouran?" Caldina interjected. "He is a senile old bat. You'd never guess he was a third of Clef's age. He doesn't have the vaguest idea of what is going on, period. They really ought to kick _him_ off the council, or at least remove him from his upper council seat."

"You know they would never do that. I'm out." Presea laid her cards down in front of her. "That seat belongs to that family line. And he is the last of that line. No one else gets to take it until he dies. Who knows how long that will be."

"He is a puppet in Vespasian's hands."

"You know that. I know that. Hell, everyone knows that, but what is anyone willing to do about it?"

Ascot shook his head. "What are you all talking about?"

Caldina cocked an eyebrow. "Clef and his traitorous relationship."

"His what?"

"Well, you see…when two people love each other very much…"

"Or are simply hot for one another"

"Ferio!"

"You have to admit that the old man did pick a rather attractive woman to get himself hung over."

"Figuratively and literally."

"I still don't get it."

"Well, it might seem that the mage has been getting fair use out of a particularly intriguing piece of literature in our library…"

The palu's thoughts drifted to a particular book he had been embarrassed to touch, yet the mage held as if it were nothing. That couldn't possibly be…could it? But that would mean that the reason Clef made that comment about Umi and the book, was because he and Umi were…and if that were the case, then…Oh Damn.

Everyone's attention was drawn back to the table as Hikaru swept the small pile of coins to join her growing collection.

"But why does everyone know, except me?"

Caldina tapped his head with her knuckles. "Because you're dense."

"Seriously."

Fuu looked over at him. "I was led to that assumption a few months before Umi left. And then after she didn't return, Clef admitted as much to me."

"Then Fuu told me." Ferio stated, shuffling the cards again.

Caldina nudged Ascot over on the seat he had just occupied. "I weaseled it out of Fuu. Then I just _had_ to tell someone."

"Me." Presea raised a hand.

"And me!" Hikaru piped up.

"It's a wonder the whole castle doesn't know." Ascot groaned.

"Eventually it might be that way. Most of us only found out a few days before we heard of the mage's plans for this hearing."

Ferio glanced at his hand for a moment. "Personally, I agree with him one hundred percent. The laws are terribly antiquated, and the way they stand. The only current application of them is Clef and his post. So why must he be obligated to adhere to laws that no longer apply to anyone else?"

"And then why aren't you backing him again?"

"He wouldn't like it. You know how stubborn that geezer gets. And Lord knows Umi is the perfect match for him. It is a wonder those two haven't killed each other."

"This separation may do more good than harm." Caldina chuckled lightly.

* * *

Clef groaned in frustration. This was beyond humiliating. Why did a council member have to present his case from the floor like any other citizen? Yet, while he thought that he remembered the reasoning behind it. Every case must be heard with the same consideration; therefore every case must be presented the same way. He would need to speak from the floor. Not as Council Second Chair, not as Master Mage, but as an ordinary citizen. A citizen who felt his best interests were no longer being met. 

There was one problem with being the Master Mage of Cephiro. He was easily one of the most recognizable people in the world. Therefore, this idea of addressing the council as a citizen was all well and good; it made waiting for an audience tiresome. He had wanted to spend his waiting time rehearsing how he was going to state his motion for an amendment to the old laws, yet he was constantly being barraged by questions and pleas from other citizens, who felt that if he would be able to take care of their problems it would be faster than waiting for their own audiences.

More than one had traveled a distance from a region to the south and west of the castle. There seemed to be a rather large influx of monsters that was making evening travel dangerous. He assured them that he would see someone out there by the end of the week, if he had to go himself. This was of great relief to them.

As he stood in the waiting, a little girl sidled up to him. She tugged at the edge of his robes.

"Mister?"

Clef glanced down at the small hand clutching his robe as if her very life depended on it. The bounce of the curls sparked the vaguest of memory but he let it be for the time. "Yes?"

"Mister, can you help me?" Tears were welling up in the girl's eyes.

The mage knelt down on one knee so he was closer to eye level with the child. "I do not know. What is it that is the matter?"

"My brother. Mama said to find Master Clef. You are him, right?"

"Yes."

The girl clung to the front of his robes. "You have to help him."

"How am I to help him?"

"You have to make him better!" The girl sobbed. Her tiny shoulders shuddering uncontrollably.

So much for his audience. Clef led the girl out of the room and down the corridor, glancing back once to the doors that would one day tell his future, which would be no closer to being decided today. As gently as he could, the mage prodded her for more information.

Between sobs and mumbles, he finally was able to understand that the girl's brother was injured while playing in the forest, and though his wound had been treated, he had fallen ill, and no local healer had been able to release him from the fever for more than a few hours, so the girl's mother had sent her to find the master mage, because he should know what to do, if anyone did.

Together, the two made the trek to his chambers and gathered what herbs he felt necessary. Reaching to the very back of his shelf he pulled out a small vial that was very nearly empty. The writing on the label was nearly rubbed off but the first four letters were still some what legible, "Athe…", but Clef knew what it was, just as he knew it would help.

Once everything he needed was organized, the mage led his newly acquired shadow back through the maze of corridors that sectioned his chambers off from the rest of the castle, and they began the journey again.

Again the bounce of the child's curls struck a cord of remembrance. "Forgive me for not asking sooner, as you already know mine, but what is your name?"

"Mama calls me Kili."

"Well Kili, Most people know me as Clef. You may call me that, if you like."

"But Mama says you are 'Master Clef'."

"What is your mother's name that she knows me as 'Master'?"

"Saleen."

"Your father wasn't Astre, by chance?"

The girl nodded, her bright red-gold curls bouncing. Clef remembered a slightly older girl, eager and willing to learn until her eyes befell a fellow student. The two studied for only a short time longer before eloping. This was during the earlier reign of Emeraude as pillar. He had heard of Astre's untimely demise as the world crumbled. But the chaos that ensued shrouded that from his memory and he had never sent his condolences to the former student.

The Saleen that greeted the two at her door was not quite the same girl who has once spent hours learning the ancient tongue for her promise at spell craft. This Saleen bore the pain and anguish of a grieving mother, who feared the worst for her child.

"Saleen"

"Master Clef."

Stoically, Saleen lead her former master to the back room that her son lay in.

The boy was unconscious and trembling when Clef knelt beside him. "How long has he been like this?"

"A few hours now, but his fever spiked again before I sent Kili for you."

The mage felt the boy's heart rate. "Why didn't you call for me sooner?"

"Because I didn't want to disturb you." Tears threatened to spill down her already wet cheeks.

"Damn it, Woman! This is your child. You have only two things of any importance in this world and yet you may lose one due to etiquette." With a frustrated groan, Clef pulled a mortar and pestle from his satchel and dumped herbs from two of his bottles into it. Once satisfied with the consistency, he poured it into a small cup that he then poured water into while saying two words that caused the mixture to heat and mix.

"What is your son's name?"

Clef looked up to find his former student standing in the doorway as if he had scolded her.

"Saleen! What is your child's name?"

The reply came in a hoarse whisper. "Enzo"

Setting the boy up slightly, Clef put the cup to his lips. "Enzo, you need to drink this. You mother wants you to be better, and that cannot happen until you swallow."

The potion rolled out the side of Enzo's mouth slightly, but after what seemed a life time of waiting, the boy's throat moved as he swallowed one mouthful of the concoction.

Clef knew this was only the first step in the boy's treatment, but the infection was controllable, with the right herbs. He lifted the small vial that held so little in it. Hopefully this would be enough. Soon he would need to go searching for this plant again. It had become so scarce now. The lack could become disastrous.

Athelas was a very dangerous herb. When used in a potion, it could be used to cure most any infection. But, by the same token, if too much was administered, it could be lethal. Too little could also spell a death sentence, for once it was administered, nothing else would work to lessen a fever or slow an infection.

The trick would come in making the boy drink all of it. For one drop less could spell an end to his flickering flame of life.

After a few short minutes, the first potion had taken affect. The trembling had subsided and his fever was going down, but it was only temporary. Lifting the boy again, Clef put the bottle to his lips, holding his mouth tight, trying to keep them sealed over the edge so that no fluid would leak this time.

"I know this tastes bad, but I need to swallow for me, just one more time."

TO BE CONTINUED….

* * *

**Author's Note:** I will state that I do not hate Ascot. The way I write him, he just seems to come out a little dense. Yes, even I don't know who all is talking in that room, half the time. Actually, I had meant for Clef to face the council at this point, but Kili had other thoughts. Oh, well. 

Due to my lack luster spelling skills, I owe many thanks to Sciathan File for double checking this chapter before I posted. Much Love! As there were quite a few errors. Very amusing ones at that.

I will also remind you all that Reviews are love, but if you do not care to review and would like to ask questions, please feel free to pm me or visit the forum in my profile, I have a topic over this story and would not be adverse to feedback in that regard. I do hope that you enjoy this story as much as I enjoy writing it, when it is not eating away at my brain.


	7. Chapter Six : Ease the Pain

AN: First, I would like to apologize for how long it has been since I last updated. I know that many of you have been waiting and fussing over how long it takes me to post. I could take this moment to point at Dragon of Winter Nights and say that it is her fault. But that wouldn't be fair, she didn't force me to watch and be distracted by Doctor Who, but I did. Sorry. Now that series 3 is over, I should be able to do some writing until I start back at my multitude of classes in the fall.

* * *

"_I hope there is a way  
To give me a sign you're okay  
Reminds me again it's worth it all  
So I can go home"_

--Within Temptation

**Try to Wish**

**Chapter Six : Ease the Pain**

Stretching the cramp in his neck, Clef woke achy and sore in a small wooden chair. The child in the bed beside him was breathing easily. The mage reached out a hand to touch him. The boy's fever had broken. But that miracle was due to a large price on the mage's herb and potion collection. Sometime soon he would need to go on the long trek to find the herb that had always been scarce but was becoming even more so.

The soft grey light of dawn crept over the horizon as the gentle sound of small footsteps pulled clef out of his thoughts. Kili stood in the doorway in her nightgown, clinging to a small stuffed doll.

"It's alright." The mage reassured.

The girl timidly stepped forward to see her brother. Standing on her tip toes she still couldn't see him as well as she liked. With no questions, she climbed into clef's lap, and hugged him before settling herself on his knee. The mage smiled a little. Outside of the laws they would be breaking—not that their mere relationship hadn't broken every other one—he had no real objections when Umi had brought up the topic of starting a family.

Though he preferred his quiet time, he did enjoy children. At least those who were well behaved.

The mage gently ran his fingers through the little girl's hair, as his mind began to wander again. Was it physically possible for him and Umi to have a child? Or were their peoples somehow incompatible? Twice Umi had become pregnant and twice she has miscarried. But if there were and incompatibility, what would become of the royal line? Fuu and Ferio could never have a child either.

He almost hoped that this was the case, so he would not have to worry about Umi, for if she was in fact pregnant when she left, the child most assuredly had been born. And Clef feared for the heartache such a birth would cause.

* * *

Umi felt like crying. For the past twenty minutes, Hideaki had done nothing but cry. Nothing would calm him. His diaper was clean and dry. He would not nurse, and he had belched twice. She was at her wits end. What was wrong with him? This was making her want to scream too. She paced the floor of her bedroom, the hallway, the living room, the kitchen, hell they paced the entire house until her mother returned home. At which point Umi placed the screaming baby in his grandmother's arms.

The boy quieted almost instantly.

"I give up!" Umi cried before she stormed up the stairs.

Mrs. Ryuuzaki calmly ascended the staircase after her daughter. She crooned softly to the baby in her arms.

"Don't worry; she is not angry with you. Your mama is in pain from missing your father."

The older woman opened her daughter's door. The water knight was curled around her pillow, sobbing. Her mother laid the tiny baby in his basinet and sat on the bed.

"My baby hates me." Umi muttered into her pillow.

Mrs. Ryuuzaki laughed. "Of course he doesn't."

"Then why does he scream every time I hold him?"

"Now you are exaggerating. I can count the times he has screamed in your arms on one hand." She reached out and ran a hand through her daughter's hair. "You actually have done better than I did when I first brought you home."

Umi sniffled and mumbled into her pillow. "Really?"

"Yes. I was terrified. I thought I would kill you by accident. You were so tiny." Mrs. Ryuuzaki smiled. "But you, you do what you need to do, and have little fear or doubt."

"But I am afraid." She rolled over to look up at her mother.

"Of what? Of hurting Huki? Of doing something wrong? No, I think you are too occupied with your fear of raising him alone, that you have given no thought to usual fears of a new mother."

The water knight sat up and wiped her eyes. Her mother was making a good point.

"You have a bond with him no one else can claim. He is a part of you. You carried him in your womb. He has no idea what love and hate are. All he knows is that the person, this warm body, holds him and nourishes him."

"But…"

"Babies cry. It is a fact of life. We will never know all the reasons why. But you are his mother. That will never change."

Slowly a small smile crept across Umi's face.

Mrs. Ryuuzaki stood up and walked toward the door. "Come down and help me with dinner."

* * *

Saleen stood in the doorway of her children's bedroom. The scene before her was endearing. Clef sat in the same place he had been when he finally sent her to bed last night. Kili sat in his lap, listening as the mage told a tale of a princess from the moon. He was nearly as enthusiastic in telling the story as Kili was in listening. The descriptions were so vivid that even Saleen found herself sinking in to this world he was creating. Leaving the world of make believe, she made her way to the kitchen to prepare breakfast for her family and their guest.

The warm aroma of food worked as fast as any sort of summoning spell. Both the mage and her daughter appeared in the doorway nearly as soon as she had finished and was placing the bowls on the table.

Kili directed Clef to the spot she deemed appropriate for him to be.

After assuring herself that the other two had enough to eat, Saleen joined them at the table.

"What was the tale you were telling Kili?"

Clef looked thoughtful for a moment. "I forget the proper name, but it is a legend from the magic knight's world."

Saleen was rather taken aback by that idea. How did he know this foreign tale so well? "May I ask how my master came to remember it in such vivid detail?"

"It was a favorite of the magic knight of water."

"And that is the only explanation?"

"That is the only explanation, at this time." He cast a meaningful glance at the little girl to his left.

Saleen nodded in silent understanding.

They finished meal quietly, aside from the occasional question comment, or happy thought from Kili. Once her plate was cleared to the very last crumb, the girl excused herself and left to find her friend, Maki.

Saleen turned her attention back to the question burning on her tongue.

"What is the real story?"

"Which version?"

"The one that has you knowing every detail of a magic knight's favorite tale from her world."

Clef picked up his glass and finished his juice before replying. "She suffered nightmares."

The woman raised an eyebrow.

"She came to me for solace. I found that the best way to make her relax was a story or a song. Either one of us sharing one was helpful. She loved to tell me that tale. She slept easier afterward."

"I don't know that I even want to ask how you knew she slept easier after telling you a story."

The look on the mage's face as he shifted in his seat reminded her of her son, when he didn't want to tell her something. She'd pinned him. Saleen would prefer to hear him say it rather than simply assume what she thought. It was only a matter of time before she got it out of him.

"How old were the magic knights when they firs came to Cephiro?"

"Fourteen years."

"Fourteen! You spent evenings alone with a fourteen year old girl?"

"You act as though I would take advantage of her. As I recall you came under my tutelage when you were quite young yourself, and I did no harm to you." He spun the glass around on the table. "It has been five, nearly six, years hence. She is twenty years by now."

"She's a child, Master."

"Their people are not so long lived as ours. She is legally an adult."

Saleen rested her head in her hand a moment. This was already a lot more to take in than she thought it would be.

"Are you saying you and she were…involved?"

"I am saying nothing. You are insinuating such things."

He was purposely avoiding the questions. She looked him straight in the eye.

"Were you?"

He took a deep breath. "Forgive me if I have shattered your image of me."

"What image?" Saleen laughed. "I had always seen you as human. I just wondered what your weakness could be. Truthfully, I never thought it would be a young girl, but I am not curious as to how long it took before your will power crumbled."

The mage lowered his head "Six months."

Saleen face distorted into a look of disgust as she added that to the original age Clef had given her.

"It was nearly a year since we had met, that Umi decided to start pushing me to go further. It was not six months after their arrival. Do not think what you are thinking, please."

"That still only make her age fifteen to your…what was it…746?"

"747", Clef corrected.

"That is a rather large age gap to overcome." Saleen had taken to pacing the floor as her mind was processing this new and unthought-of information.

"It was her choice, not mine."

"A poor excuse. In my experience, you needed to be just as involved as she."

He rubbed at the back of his neck, embarrassed at how pathetic he sounded. Of all people to learn this truth, Saleen would have to be one of the harsher that remained on his side. But at least she would be one of the last to place judgment on him. She had he own past, none too much different from his own.

Leaning forward over the back of her chair to look at him--realization blooming on he face—she spoke, "If she is now twenty, this illicit relationship has been ongoing for four or five years. The political upheaval this could cause."

"That is why your daughter found me in the audience chamber, thus expediting my arrival at your son's bedside."

"In all this time, you chose now to go before the council?"

"Umi is on Earth with no way to return, as far as I can see. This is definitely one of the most useless times to do this, but if she returns…" Clef paused and took a shaky breath.

"What would change if she were to return?"

"I have been having dreams."

"What type of dreams?" Saleen was definitely intrigued. This had to be the most interesting conversation he had ever had with her.

"I fear she may have been pregnant when the portal closed." Clef muttered through his hand as he rubbed at the bridge of his nose.

The mage was mildly frustrated with himself for pouring out his heart like this, but as it was becoming such a common occurrence recently, he was willing to ignore it. Hadn't he always said it was better to talk about things than keep them inside?

"If it takes four years of stupidity to get her pregnant, I doubt you have anything to worry about."

Clef clutched at his napkin. "But it didn't take four years. It took three months."

If Saleen's full attention wasn't on her master before, it definitely was now. "What happened?"

"She lost the baby." Clef stated with an air of sadness. "Same with the second a few years later. I have begun to wonder if there is some difference between our two peoples that makes if difficult if not impossible to carry a child to term."

"She was so young. Did she even understand the political ramifications of such a birth? Even the relationship in general?"

"Do you think I did remind her of that so many times I lost count?"

"Well, I don't know. To find that my master broke the very laws he preached to me for all those yeas, is a bit of a shock. Now you tell me there is a possibility that you have fathered a child by this girl?"

"People change."

"Yes, people definitely do change. Especially ones who are seducing young girls."

"We are not even going to approach that topic again."

"Right, I forgot. She seduced you."

"Need I remind you that you are the one who started this conversation in the first place?" He glanced out the window checking the position of the sun. "Now if you will excuse me, I need to organize myself to stand before the council. As I obviously missed my first opportunity yesterday."

Pushing his chair back, Clef rose and proceeded to the door.

"Master?"

He turned back to his former student who still sat at the table, smiling gently at him.

"If she does return, I would like to meet this girl, this woman, who is responsible for this change in you demeanor. I want to meet her even more if there is a child, as you fear."

* * *

"Every time." Kuu whines as she looked down at the tiny boy sleeping in her arms. "Am I that boring?"

"Maybe." Umi answered from the kitchen doorway as she came out with two iced drinks. "Though the trait might be useful when you have children of your own."

The blonde wrinkled her nose. "That may be the case, but I want my boyfriend to stay awake when I talk to him."

Umi shook her head.

"What?"

"It is just a little odd to hear you refer to my son as your boyfriend. I think the age difference may become a bit of a barrier." The knight joked.

"Right, and how much older was his father?"

Kuu smiled as her friend scrunched her face in annoyance.

"Oh, Miss Umi doesn't like to talk about age difference." She paused for dramatic effect. "Is this because she jumped into bed with the oldest man in Cephiro when she started high school?"

Umi muttered something to her drink.

"Pardon? Could you repeat that?"

"Junior high."

"What about it?"

"I was in junior high."

Kuu readjusted Huki, so she could see his face. "Damn. What would you have done if you'd had a baby in high school?"

"Would you mind choosing a subject unrelated to my teenage idiocy?" Umi picked up a fashion magazine from the table and began to flip through it, trying to ignore Kuu's probing looks.

The blonde scooted closer to her friend. "Just one more question."

Umi shook her head. She really didn't feel like answering any more questions, because she knew what topic Kuu was still stuck on.

"Please?" A little closer to Umi on the Sofa, Kuu gave her a pleading, sad puppy eyed sort of look.

"What?"

"How old was he? When you, you know…"

The water knight sighed. "747 that past week."

"Ew!" The other girl pretended to cringe away from her friend as she passed the baby off as if he had the plague.

"Shut it."

The older girl smiled. "You know he really wasn't bad looking. Maybe your boy will be the spitting image of his daddy and have all the under aged girls after—ouch!" Kuu rubbed her arm where Umi had pinched her. She thought it might leave a mark.

"Okay! Change of subject. Sorry."

"I don't believe it is necessary for everyone to know every detail of my sex life."

"You were the one to volunteer that it was in junior high. I am not even going to ask what you were thinking."

"Please don't"

It was silent for a time. Kuu twirled her drink in her glass a bit. "How are you holding up?"

A ghost of a smile skittered across Umi's face as she looked down at the tiny baby in her arms. "I will survive."

"Are you nearly packed?"

Kuu set her drink down. It was time to get back to the business part of her visit. Umi didn't have much stuff. It was Huki's things that would take up the most room.

"Yes, Papa can drive us down this weekend. Are you sure you want us there so soon?"

Hideaki wasn't exactly sleeping the whole night through, but six hours straight was far better than the two and a half she had been getting in the beginning.

"You have no idea how quiet it is there. I am on the verge of insanity from loneliness. Of course I want you there!"

Kuu bent over and kissed Hideaki's forehead. "Tell my boyfriend that I love him."

"He is young enough to be your child." Umi teased.

The older girl debated on making some crude comment of how she was young enough to be Clef's great great great… and then she decided that she liked to live and thought it best not to push her luck.

* * *

The walk back to the castle was all together uneventful if not completely boring. He had grown used to having a constant companion of Umi when anytime he left the castle. She always wanted to see any new place she had never been before. Even if it was a market in the next town. The world was so much more beautiful through her eyes. Perhaps he had become too jaded to see it for the beauty she did.

Why did he have to tell Saleen so much about his life? He had always felt close to her, but that was just too close for him to deal with. At least he hadn't told her everything about that particular tale that had led to his great divulge.

It was a tale that Umi would tell him in the dark warmth of his bed. Late at night, when she would wake, he would do his best to get her back to sleep. There was one song in the old language that she loved to hear. It also became a tradition for him to sing it to her before she fell back to sleep in his arms. It was for the purity of her memory that he would stand before the council.

And if he was correct, which he normally was, today was still open audience before the council. He would go before the upper council that day, the very hour he made it back to the castle. There was no point in waiting. He wouldn't be able to concentrate otherwise.

The sounds of the chamber were much the same as they were the previous day. His absence had likely been noticed, but the mage didn't care. This was something he had to do. The door to the council hall swung open. It was his turn. Stepping into the strong light, Clef solemnly paced across the floor to stand at the foot of today's council assembly.

The contempt in Vespasian's voice was clear as he spoke in the traditional manner.

"What do you ask of the council?"

Clef braced himself assuring he would remain calm and composed in his address.

"I wish to amend the laws governing the post of Supreme Yil in the new hierarchy."

To be continued…….

* * *

Author's Note: I'll try to get to work polishing the next chapter of this. But it is not quite out of being an incoherent jumble yet. Thank you for reading. I hope you enjoyed it. Reviews are love, but at over 2500 hits, I know that there are some out there enjoying this, whether or not you review. 


	8. Chapter Seven : Falling Apart

Author's Note: Sorry for the briefness of this chapter. It is finally pulling along again, so I hope to be updating again in a month or so, but I shan't promise anything.

**

* * *

**

**Try to Wish**

**Chapter Seven : Falling Apart**

Umi flipped the cooled cake out of its pan and onto a plate. Moving the plate and bowl of frosting to where she could see the living room better, the knight laughed. Huki had found the box of tissue again and was pulling the sheets out one by one. It was his intense look of concentration that amused her. Clef, himself, had been fascinated by the way a second tissue appeared when you pulled out the first one. And with the wild way Hideaki's hair was growing, he really did look like a miniature version of the mage.

Keys jangled and the door opened as Umi finished icing her cake.

"And what mischief is my boyfriend concocting today?" Kuu's voice rang from the entryway.

"He decided to redecorate."

The blonde looked over at the boy sitting amid a pile of tissues. He has since emptied the box and was playing inside it with his hands.

"We did need some male input."

Both girls laughed and Huki turned round to give them a big five toothed grin.

Kuu set her bag aside and gathered the boy in her arms. She bounced him around a bit to make him laugh.

Umi smiled half heartedly. The warm strawberry smell of the kitchen did nothing to brighten her mood. She spent the afternoon baking Clef's favorite cake. Tomorrow Hideaki would be one year old, and what better cake to have than the one the boy's father adored. It wasn't as if she ate sweets anyway.

If Clef always requested it, it was likely there son would like it too.

But that is what depressed her most. The warm scents that filled the apartment were too reminiscent of the mage. They reminded her that he was not here and that Huki may never see him. Therefore Umi had been in a rather melancholy frame of mind for much of the day. The cheer of her flat mate was not contagious enough to bring her out of it. At least the knight knew she had other things to worry with. Her mother would be arriving tomorrow as they had decided to throw a birthday party and Kuu had insisted they have it in Kyoto.

So many things needed to be done. Umi had straightened the apartment, found things that needed cleaning, much truly didn't need any of the work she was putting into it. Huki had been making messes all day which suited her just fine because it gave her something else to worry about.

Washing her hands and drying them, she set the cake aside. She could do the final decorative touches later. Taking a moment to gather the mountain of tissues Hideaki had strewn about the floor, Umi left Kuu to supervise her son and disappeared into her bedroom. She needed a moment to herself. To reorganize her thoughts so she could push them back into her subconscious where they belonged.

Umi sat on her bed and picked up the frame on her bedside table. She and her lover looked so happy in the photo. It tore at her heart.

"Clef, I just don't know if I can do this. It's just so hard."

Tears ran down her cheeks. Why did this have to happen? It was torturous. Every smile, every milestone ripped the wound larger. Soon Hideaki would be walking and she would agonize through it as every step would be a reminder of the man who would never see those first wobbly moments.

Too much time was spent brooding over this distant person. The separation was killing her but wasn't her introverted grieve depriving her son of a happy mother? Opening her bedside drawer, Umi shoved the photograph inside. Today and tomorrow were about Huki. She needed to put Clef out of her mind for just a short while.

Trying only to think of Huki, the knight made her way back to the kitchen.

Kuu was singing a silly song to the boy on the floor. He was laughing and babbling back at her. Umi smiled. She took the small basket of strawberries and moved them back to her workspace.

* * *

_"I don't think I can do this."_

The voice echoed in Clef's head as he rolled over. He hadn't been sleeping well lately. All the meetings involved for this law change were draining the life out of him. Vespasian was dead set against him and kept trying to sway the council to his view, yet most of the council knew that Clef's motives were rarely selfish and this move likely had little to do with him.

On the days hew went nearly without sleep, he heard the disembodied voices more often. Maybe it had to do with not sleeping and therefore not dreaming.

In his dreams, he saw her, he heard her, spoke to her, and touched her, but that didn't make his dreams anymore real. He was too old for this. Maybe he was losing grip with reality. He did hold great power and could likely live much longer due to that power, but he felt so old and tired.

Shrugging off his blankets, Clef climbed out of bed. Just being tired wasn't and excuse that would allow him to stay in bed all day, and he hadn't been ill in ages, so if he were to stay in his room all day, someone would likely be worried enough to come looking for him.

Donning his robes, Clef stumbled through the corridors to the kitchens. He would much rather be sleeping the day away.

If he could settle down to sleep.

"You look terrible, Love." The head cook stated as she placed a steaming cup of tea in his hands.

The mage merely nodded as he sipped his tea, letting it burn his tongue and throat. The pain was welcome in the cloud of numbness he was living in.

"Fretting isn't going to change the outcome. You can always appeal again." Tulva leaned in close to him. "Or I can put a little halli in the prat's breakfast tomorrow."

Clef smiled. As much as his former student's staunch advocacy against him, troubled the mage, he wasn't to the point of having the cook as sick making herbs to his meals.

"I don't think that will be necessary."

"I hope not. I am getting tired of this stressed and sulking version of Mage Clef. Simply sulking, moping Clef was enough."

"We'll see in a few hours."

The cook puffed up in annoyance. "If you're change passes, you had better cheer up a bit."

Clef nodded solemnly.

"I just wish that damned portal would open again, so I can have my old Mage Clef back, since the more cheerful half seems to be trapped in the magic knights' world."

Placing the empty cup down on the worktop. Clef readied himself to face the day.

"You and I both." He said glumly.

"Oh, don't you be givin' up like that. She'll be back." Tulva looked over at him with a glint of worry in her eyes. He really wasn't the same man she had met all those years before.

"What that beautiful girl saw in a grumpy, old man like you, I'll never know." Grinning at him, she went back to work.

Felling a little better, Clef walked back to the library. He still had a few hours to kill before his audience with the committee this morning.

* * *

The cake was finished, dinner was nearly ready, and the apartment was neat and tidy aside from the corner of the den Huki was playing in. The bin that normally held his toys, was overturned and the toys littered the floor. The wind of a plush bumble bee was shoved in his mouth as he looked up at his mother.

A smile broke out on his face.

Umi's expression softened to a smile as she sat beside him. She was flustered for no visible reason. He parent's had see her apartment before. It was usually a little untidy. With a small child, tidiness didn't happen often.

The doorbell rang and Umi stiffly climbed to her feet.

Mrs. Ryuuzaki greeted her cheerfully at the door before coming in to scan the room for her grandson.

Hideaki laughed and waved his arms at his grandmother. Standing on wobbly legs, he took tow steps forward as she knelt to meet him.

Umi had to take a deep breath as the stabbing pain of grief shot through her heart.

To be continued…

* * *

Author's Note: Feel free to hate me. I told you it was short. This is how the chapter ended as I wrote it. No one wanted to do anything more. I think the angst of this fic is even tiring the characters. The next chapter should be a little more upbeat-I hope.

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